Therapy, Sex, Relationships

Can I Have a Crush and a Significant Other?

Humans were not originally monogamous. Key the controversy. Jokes aside, we were not meant to be monogamous creatures. We are literally animals. Society created the idea that monogamy is the star we should be reaching for our whole lives. It’s a great star if that’s your cup of tea too. But, does being monogamous mean we can’t look at the menu even if we never plan to order?

I’ve been in a relationship for a couple years now. It is great a solid 90% of the time, which to me is a very high success rate and I’m very proud of it. Sometimes I have to stop and think how lucky I am to have gotten a man who can communicate. So with all this greatness one would think “why would your eye stray?!” I’ll tell you why. Because I’m human. And my coworker was cute.

I went a whole two years with eyes for no one but my partner. Then in walked my new coworker who defied every type I’ve ever had and did I mention he was cute? So I developed a crush. For the first few weeks when I realized what this feeling was, I was consumed with guilt. How could I?! My partner is amazing, this is a betrayal. But more time went by and my world did not combust. More time. No combustion. Then I realized, this is natural. I did not act on it. I didn’t cheat. I even told my partner about it! All I did was get butterflies and suddenly I realized this was okay, this made me human.

So what to do when you get a crush and it’s not on your significant other?

  • Breathe
  • Evaluate
  • Breathe
  • Live life

Crushes happen. Whether you’re in a relationship or not. This doesn’t make you a bad person or mean you love your partner any less. It just means you are not a robot and can form human connections, which when we think about it is great news! Just remember a crush will last you a few weeks, your relationship could last you your life, so look in the bag for valuables before you throw away the trash.


Post by: Sarah Crawley

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