“What do you want to do?” my partner asked me one Saturday morning.
It was the first weekend we had together after a few months of being a part and being busy when we were together. You’d think we’d have a long list of things we wanted to do together. Things we wanted to see or chores we needs to check off our list. But this particular weekend we had nothing. Sure the weather was great and the day was young, but we stood there in our kitchen, staring at each other trying to figure out something––anything––to do together.
“We never do anything together,” a client said to be during a couples therapy session.
“What do you mean?” I asked, moving in my chair to get comfortable and prepared for the yelling match I knew was coming. “Do you go on dates?”
The pair looked at each other, faces grim, a light flush growing across their cheeks. After a few beats, they turned away from each other. They wouldn’t look me in the eye. Instead, they fidgeted on the couch.
“I take it you haven’t gone out with each other in a long time?” I prompted.
“We never know what to do,” one said. “We try to come up with ideas, but it’s so hard to do so in the moment.”
“I like to plan, but sometimes I wish he’d do something, too,” the other said.
We sat in silence for a moment, until I smiled realizing that it wasn’t the fact they didn’t want to spend time together, it was because ideas for date night were hard to come by. It was the same problem my partner and I faced not too long ago.
Date Night ideas are hard to come up with on the fly. Here’s a fun activity you can do with your partner when ideas are hard to come by: when you’re lost and confused on what to do with your loved one, grab a bowl––any size––sit down for 10 minutes and brainstorm all the activities you love to do together. You come up with 10 and your partner comes up with another 10. Once done, cut the idea up into strips and fold them to put them in the bowl so the next time you have an issue, you have at least 20 different date night ideas and then some.
BONUS: come up with at least 2 grandiose ideas a month and schedule them in advance. This could me an upcoming concert or a weekend getaway. The sky’s the limit!