Healthy Relationships and Where to Find Them (Part 5)

Join us over the next several weeks to discover what it takes to live and love in a healthy relationship!

We’ve been looking at healthy relationships and what they can be. So how do you make it happen?

I usually tell my clients to make a list. Figure out what it is exactly what you want and don’t want in a partner, then write it down. Add to it when you can and delete parts when they no longer serve you.

For example, I made a list once. When I first wrote the list I put on their must be religious. Over the next two years I would remove that from what I wanted in a relationship. I don’t recall why, but it no longer served me. It wasn’t a deal breaker and it wasn’t something that I needed. So off it went.

I can’t help a client work through what they want in life if they can’t articulate their needs on their own. So I always start by exploring their wants, needs, and desires. It’s a slow burn at first, but after awhile it gets easier.

“I want someone who makes me laugh.”

“Someone who will love all of me.”

“I want to feel accepted, safe, cherished.” 

You can do the same thing.

After there is a clear picture of a partner, the harder part is finding them.

My advice comes from when a best friend of mine had a hard time finding a life partner.

“I can’t find anyone,” she told me one day over the phone.

“Where are you looking,” I asked confused. Surely there are people everywhere?

“I go to bars, I go to clubs, work! Nothing. There is no one out there for me.” She let out a long sigh, frustrated and confused.

i swallowed. I had no idea what to say––  I didn’t have a clue where to find her perfect partner either.

“Well,” I started nervously, “for starters, I’m not sure that’s where I would be looking. What is it that you love to do? What are some hobbies you like?”

Silence met my ears, but she knew what I was saying. You have to be living your best life, enjoying thing that make your soul sing. Once you do that your light shines so brightly it’s like a beacon for all good things to find you.

At the end of the day, it takes patience and a lot of self love to live your dreams. It’s not impossible. It takes time. It’s worth it.

**Part 6 releases 1.21.25**