First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage! Right? There are also other important steps in there that come in between these life-changing stages and I believe that it is important to recognize them. So, today, I want to talk about the big step of moving in together! After having a life of your own, even if it was just college, moving in together can be very tricky because each of you have different perspectives of what a home does look like and should look like. Navigating this new life change can present issues and conflicts that you will need to figure out together, but without a little insight, it can be tough to do on your own.
Huff Post says, “Creating a home together is truly an act of deep intimacy. It is about personal desires and aspirations. It is about fantasies and wishes from as far back as you can remember. It is so much about all your hopes and dreams, and how you will make memories together. When partners take on the complex challenge of creating a home as an honest team effort, their experience cannot help but increase intimacy.
Sir Winston Churchill once said, “… we shape our dwellings, and afterwards our dwellings shape us.” Too often in my marriage therapy practice I see couples who’s dwellings have shaped them in ways they would never have imagined — ways that are not conducive to healthy and happy married life.
Our homes are a respite from the rest of the harried world. They are a sanctuary for the individual, as well as the relationship. A marriage depends on and desperately desires this. So whether your sanctuary is a colonial on a cul-de-sac, a New York City apartment or a small cabin in the woods, it needs to be able to comfort you as an individual, and as a couple.”
Listen to each other
Once you decide that you are moving in together, you are going to need to sit down and have a talk with one another. Like I mentioned above, you may want different things and have different visions, but there is a middle spot that will be comfortable for both of you – you’ll just need to discuss that and figure out what it is. When you do talk, be prepared to bend your vision a bit to meet the other one in the middle.
Find a new place
Sometimes, getting a new place that is neutral for both parties is the best. That way, nobody feels like they are moving into their partners home. If this is your first time renting or buying a home, please make sure to do your research first. If you are buying, look into finding a really good mortgage broker that will be honest with you. Some will want to see you a home that is at the top of your budget because it benefits them more, but a really good broker should tell you to find a home that is significantly less than your top budget, in order to protect yourself from being house broke. Also, when you are searching for a new home with your significant other, make sure you take into consideration a few other factors such as where you work, where your partner works, how long your commute will be, and more.
Go through your things
Naturally, you will have more ‘things’ since you are merging two homes into one, so you have to carefully go through what you do have and get rid of things that you do not need. Consider donating because your old things could go to someone in need. When you do this, make sure to also think about the other person. Sure, your items are comfortable for you, but they might not be for your partner. Once again, try to meet them in the middle and choose a variety of items from your home and his to merge into one home, together. If you cannot decide, maybe it is time to buy some new items for your home?
Make it safe
Last but not least, you want a home that you feel safe in. Keep tidy landscaping to steer potential burglars away, add a security system, install cameras, and add window films. If you have never heard of window films before, let me fill you in! Window films add an extra layer of safety and security by reducing the potential of injury from flying grass, impeding robbers and burglars with windows that are headed up to your home to break and enter, and by guarding against natural causes of window impact. Window films will also help control excessive heat and cold, which can help make your home more comfortable. Atlanta company, UHS Window Tinting and Blinds offers window tinting for areas around the Metro area such as Marietta, Alpharetta, Roswell, Buford, Smyrna, and more. UHS Window Tinting and Blinds is a locally-owned and operated company that has been in business for over thirty years. Because of this, they have an extensive history with window films and window treatment services, so they are able to provide the best and most knowledgeable window film service, in order to protect your home. They carry a full line of 3M window film products that include sun control, safety, security, and decorative films, so if you are in search of a great window tinting company in Georgia, check them out!